The trail tail grows

I did not really intend to write again so soon, but the decision to go forward with this has given me a serious sugar high. It has nothing to do with anything I have ingested recently. I swear!

As youse observant types might have noticed, there is a new menu item up that away ↑↑↑.

Whatever you do, don’t click on it!!!

Do NOT press HERE either! Just because our addendum to the plan may be so earth shattering … so news worthy that the word Idiot will no doubt need to officially change its dictionary definition … is no reason to CLICK ON THAT PAGE!!

Don’t do it!

I am watching you!

As a matter of fact, just ignore everything above this sentence!

A quick update:

I have now officially signed on as a TEAM BEACHBODY COACH. What exactly does this mean? It just so happens I am going to tell you. Wether you really want to know or not.

It means:

• I have actually paid out money to get my sorry ass in shape, meaning that if I don’t follow through, my financial advisor (mom) will no doubt spank me thoroughly and ground me for weeks.
• I now have personal drill sergeant, as well as a group of experienced exercise commandos, to ensure that I put down that candy bar and actually work up enough sweat to make the Sahara green.
• I have the potential to actually torment others after they see my new god like body and make a few bucks.
• I will now be the guy who can KICK the sand on the beach, thereby no doubt having a following of bikini clad beauties on my tail.
• I have a name for the best-selling book and movie that will no doubt come out moments after we finish: Mountain Watch. We will have a picture of both of our sleek oiled up bodies in a nice red swimsuit on the cover.

On top of that, I have actually started counting my calories. Granted at the moment I am just seeing how high I can go, but it’s a start. Add to all this getting out of bed by 930 and sweating for a whole ten minutes, and I feel well on the way to stardom fitness.

Oh yeah, we are supposed to be training: Day 1.5

GuiltedInspired by Mark’s fresh start and enthusiasm, I too must step it up, and it does not hurt to post the official starting stats to shamegoad me into action. So here I am with the details of MY fresh start:

April 3, 2013

9 pm

A Wedding Function Hall

Taochild (affectionately known as Kramer in this arena) has just finished working a bar shift, the first real “work” he has done in a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time.

Serving roughly 400 thirsty networkers for 3 hours, especially when beer, wine and soda is free, officially counts as heavy training in my book. So I am calling that my frist official workout.

The tossing and turning all night because of how sore I am was just bonus calorie burning.

April 4, 2013

Taochild’s cave

Clad in … well you really don’t want that picture … Mountain Steve rolls out of bed bright and early at 1030. This in itself is a feat since the bed is surrounded by three walls and a dresser. Being hungry from my labor (and lack of sleep) of the precious night, I grab a banana and make a turkey sandwich on a bagel  and sit in front of the computer for a bit of relaxation and catching up on things while I eat brunch. Only for a short time of course.

Two and a half hours later, having been sucked in by FB, specifically a conversation about how to get into shape that wore me out, I read the Idiot’s update and realized that I was already getting left behind.

I quickly ran to my scale (read that as a brisk waddle) and stepped on it. It will not be a completely good reading because I just ate and it is not the first thing in the morning, but it will be a working figure. I get on the scale and looking down, cant’ quite see what it says. There seems to be a belly in the way.

It’s down there somewhere!

I lean forward so I can see around said belly.

168.7

Ecstatic to be starting at such a good point, I realize that as I leaned forward, I put my hands on the counter for support. Hands removed and I get my precarious balance and look again.

Flashing a serious of numbers AROUND 244. Since this is roughly where I was at on my last weigh in, we will call it …

244.0

The masochistsdoctors claim I should be about 180 or less. So I figure I will aim for a more realistic number like 195 to 200.

I am writing this before actually doing any exercise today, but the plan is to either walk a couple of miles as the Idiot did, or do some iPhone exercises that can actually be pretty intense. Maybe even both if I feel like abusing myself. But here we have it. this is the official starting point. I too will be weighing in every monday morning, and I expect much abuse and vicious glares if I back-slide again!

OK now I am off. Putting on my sweat band as soon as I post this (even if it is pretty chilly in these parts too)! I might add an update when I am done.

NOTE:

Haven’t even managed to finish this post and already have an update. No I have not actually gotten sweaty yet. But I am chatting with a Personal Slave DriverTrainer as I type these words. The mere fear of what she is describing has already caused me to sweat off about 16 lbs. And the money I have now spent is definitely worth another pound or three. Well on my way now!